Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
