I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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