i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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