due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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