If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
