I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
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this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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