I cannot find my penis.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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