You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize