you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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