; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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