i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
