In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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