my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize