Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
