I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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