Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
