Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.

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  (574): Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility. http://tfl.nu/np4w
  Replies (7) Good night (924) Bad night (909)
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  (714): View more from California

  im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

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  (714): im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF http://tfl.nu/bxu6
  Replies (12) Good night (2380) Bad night (689)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.

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  (954): I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs. http://tfl.nu/kpvs
  Replies (37) Good night (1921) Bad night (3728)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind

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  (201): i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind http://tfl.nu/v27a
  Replies (7) Good night (3376) Bad night (1584)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.

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  (224): his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this. http://tfl.nu/41n8
  Replies (55) Good night (1368) Bad night (5253)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.

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  (508): I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up. http://tfl.nu/8n4w
  Replies (7) Good night (940) Bad night (4872)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country

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  (304): She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country http://tfl.nu/39z8
  Replies (16) Good night (4945) Bad night (979)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.

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  (918): Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either. http://tfl.nu/yx3m
  Replies (12) Good night (2476) Bad night (634)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.

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  (573): He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady. http://tfl.nu/txg0
  Replies (6) Good night (2625) Bad night (641)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.

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  (973): He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me. http://tfl.nu/2l9a
  Replies (10) Good night (647) Bad night (1587)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.

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  (573): He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer. http://tfl.nu/1tmt
  Replies (2) Good night (881) Bad night (847)
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  (315): View more from New York

  We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.

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  (315): We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked. http://tfl.nu/mwis
  Replies (4) Good night (2022) Bad night (537)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.

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  (613): Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee. http://tfl.nu/d96h
  Replies (2) Good night (974) Bad night (373)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

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  (859): Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy. http://tfl.nu/uf16
  Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (376)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.

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  (816): I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine. http://tfl.nu/el1w
  Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (295)

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