Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him