I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
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After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
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You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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