She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
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Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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