This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
the gays at disneyland are vicious
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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