why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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