No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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