just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize