have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
