it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
