Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
