you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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