dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
