I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
