So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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