she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
