Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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