He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
