In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
