remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
smell my finger.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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