I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
