like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
