but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
