we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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