sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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