is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
