Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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