Little spoons don't ask big questions
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you win again, gameday.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
