Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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