Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
