Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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