Welp...herpes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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