is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
