Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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