it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
