Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
