after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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