I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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