You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
