dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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