the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
