What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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