I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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