i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize