At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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