Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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