its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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