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dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
