Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.