New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
should my penis look like a turkey
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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